Sankalpa Shakti - Day 12

I'm not sure if I'll be able to put this into meaningful words, but I had an amazing breakthrough in the bathtub this morning. It needs a little background though ...

1. I have just started a formal yoga nidra practice. Nidra means "sleep". Yoga nidra is a practice whereby one begins to gain control over the states of consciousness and thereby "consciously" move from waking (conscious) through dreaming (subconscious) to the sleep state (unconscious) with COMPLETE awareness. It is awesome and powerful and I'm making baby steps forward but spending a lot of time observing my various consciousness states, especially the subconscious.

2. As a result of these observations, I begin to wonder "What are the purposes of each state? How can I use each one for my spiritual development?"

3. We were studying some teachings by Swami Veda this week in the philosophy class where he said the mind-field (encompasing ALL of the states of consciousness) is made up of 3 Divine attributes:
1. Satyam = Truth
2. Shivam = Goodness
3. Sundaram = Beauty
These are the natural impulses and urges of the mind; to engage in truth, goodness, and beauty! We suffer when we resist these natural/Divine urges! We are born to live in a state of Saumanasyam, Beautiful Mindedness!

4. Yesterday, Duane and I were talking at the kitchen table and, as he fell into a particular pattern of speaking (the details of which don't really matter), I felt irritation arising in my mind. I didn't speak anything negative, but I came not quite to a boil inside but a darn good simmer! As I reflected on this later in the day, I started to wonder "Why? What is the mechanism whereby I grow irritated at these little nothings?"

In the bathtub this morning it all came together in a flash with perfect clarity. And it is so interconnected to everything I've been working on that I don't know if I can put it into words. But ...

Samskaras (the records of our mental verbal and physical actions, negative or positive or neutral) are the food of the Kleshas. Negative samskaras feed and strengthen the kleshas. When I have a negative reaction to something Duane says, the attachments and/or aversions and/or ego (etc) gets stronger so that the next time the scenario plays out, it takes very little to stimulate the negative response in me. Conversely, a positive samskara starves the kleshas. This whole process is also called karma. This whole process plays out in the subconscious mind! This is one of the major purposes of the subconscious !!!! The conscious mind is a prime source of input into the subconscious mind (my ears receive the sound impulses, they go to the subsconscious as samskaras and the drama begins). The unconscious mind is free of all of this drama!!!!! It is pure and free!!! It is a step closer to the fourth state of consciousness (turia) or superconsciousness.

The subconscious and unconscious aspects of myself have all of the sudden become VERY important to me because this discipline of practicing the yamas and niyamas has now become the key for me to take control of my karma!